Determined, or desperation?

I've been a very irresponsible person these days.

Skipping almost every single thing I'm responsible to be doing

Avoiding every single responsibility I'm entrusted with

All because of one reason
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To be honest, I find continue moving on these days pretty hard. 
Because the moment I'm seated down quietly, thoughts come rushing into my mind. 
It is just as if things are out of control and would just keep on attacking me 
As long as I have a few minutes on my own in my room, it happens
Thus, I chose to go out and NOT return home as much as possible.
I spent my whole day yesterday out from home, I didn't want to go home
Everything was alright when I'm out there, but things reverted when nightfalls

Loneliness creeps into me, 
A sense of sadness came into place,
Thought of the past came back to me,
In as much as I want to stop - It fails

Now, the reason of me writing so much here isn't to rant - or to vent out what's inside me
But I need to encourage myself, to make myself to continue moving on
To move on to something I believe in, to something I dear most

Yes

I may not have succeeded in what I wanted to achieve
But I have to tell myself, this is not the end at all
I got to know of the problem because of this bold move
And if I actually dare to do so, what's stopping me from moving on?
Nothing in this world comes easy - Nothing, ever
But that gives no reason for me to stay put

I just gotta keep moving
And believe that one day
Things will work out

I just need the time - that's all

I'm not sure if this is an act of determination, or simply just desperation
But either way, it's simply because of one reason
Because of you
Posted on 4:09 PM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

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