Time

Time is something very important, yet it may disappear without a trace when you don't even realise it. Heck, even ask I am writing this, time is already passing by one second by second. The thing with time is, you won't know how much time is left in your clock; by that I mean our life. Anyway, I believe that talking about how much time is left doesn't make any difference as we cannot change it. What's important is how you use your time.

Is every single second of your life spent in a right way where it is worth it? How much time do you actually waste by staring up into space, thinking and pondering on nothing at all? In my case, I try not to waste the time I have, but inevitably, I feel as if I'm already wasting my time now. Most obviously is my University student life. Being bonded with the need to perform in my results, most of the time I spent in my University Life is simply moving on through assignments and studying for my finals. Other than that, none.

The thing is, it's actually an exact opposite of my high school life I enjoyed most. I didn't bothered much with my studies but got the chance to actually mix around and learn a lot of things through experience (My academic part is still average kay!) I'd be interested in getting back into the life I had in the past, but a lot of thing is actually stopping me from doing so.

How can I still maintain my CGPA to get into first class when I graduate? With the extremely large language barriers in my University (Yes, EVERYONE speaks mandarin. Banana's like me don't stand a chance!), how am I going to "speak what I feel" when I need to? Most importantly, with the crazy workload I have and crazy strict lecturer who bans every single idea and design we do, how can I adapt? It just seemed too impossible!

Nevertheless, I believe I can adapt. I'm trying to slowly blend into societies and clubs. Blend into certain events and functions. I hope I can get some excitement in University before moving on to the working world. But yeah, I don't wish time would move on so fast. There's still a lot things I want to experience. Time is ticking, my wish is to utilize it!
Posted on 12:47 PM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

Methods of learning?

Was discussing this topic with my friend last night and I find it interesting to write about it over here. He claims that in learning, one does not have to actually be immersed inside the field itself, as the world nowadays are connected with so many different sources of information especially in the internet. However, I am in a different mindset that although a lot of information can be obtain, it can never replace first hand experience.

In the current world, speed is what's most important. If you were to get information fast and accurately, providing that you know how to adapt, accept, and use it, you can actually be one step ahead of everyone around you. You can be the one leading the way, rather than the one following people's footstep. If I were to only get information and insight from external or secondary source, where is the competitive advantage already? Speed and a timely action is needed, and it can NEVER be obtained from a secondary source.

In addition to that, being in the current industry and lifestyle, old tactics and strategy rarely works anymore. As I've written in the last paragraph, everyone have access to an information, so everyone would practically be able to grasp hold of the information or strategy, and with that; i believe they WILL be using it. New things and innovation needs to be present in order to gain a competitive advantage against our competitor and how are you going to do that? Lets just say that being IN the situation itself would allow you to understand things better that viewing it from a further perspective. Does it help? I believe it does.

Yes, no doubt that in this world of ubiquitous connection and networking through the internet, information can be sent across split second. Everything you want can simply be found in the internet. Like what my friend used to say, "if you don't know anything, google it" I must agree, it's true. the question is, where does these information come from? One simple word explains it, human. Human are selfish in nature, they may share but most of them would keep the best for themselves. How much can you gain from that then? You'll always be lagging behind instead of being in front if you only rely on secondary information.

To succeed, we need to constantly try to be in front. Not only in terms of your academic studies but even your general knowledge, and the ability to adapt, learn and USE what you gain from other sources. In my Advertising field, how are you supposed to help promote Starbucks if you have NEVER step foot inside the shop? Or how can you help promote Prada, Gucci or any other brand if you don't even know what is it? If you don't even know what is Haagen Daaz, how are you going to promote it? What is Prada? What is Gucci? Is it something you can eat? Are they selling the quality or the brand? No matter how much change my viewpoints and perception, this never change and I believe that it shouldn't change.

Just my 2 cents of viewpoints --
Posted on 6:54 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

Priorities

There was something that struck my mind recently by what my lecturer had said to the class one morning. She was criticising the students for not having proper general knowledge in the field they were supposed to work in the future. Words such as "You are advertising students, but you don't even know popular advertising techniques used by big companies. How are you going to work in the future?" Many people may say "That is why I'm studying this course" but perhaps to me, this isn't the case. Education in University only gives us the basic theory, but a lot of the required extra information comes from one's self, through reading and experience.

For myself, I am never able to experience this type of things as I'm just a kid who lives in a small town called Ipoh. The number of quality advertisements are just so limited that nothing can be learned by observing and experiencing, unlike people in bigger cities such as Kuala Lumpur. Honestly, I was actually doubting myself, being in a very low morale. I mean, I don't even take the LRT more than 10 times in my LIFE. If I were to be asked to create a ad in mass transit, how am I capable of doing so? I am someone who NEVER looks at brands, how am I supposed to trust in the power of brand? Honestly, it's quite impossible.

That is why I believe that I need to change. Not for the sake of changing, but for myself. For my future, and for my future competency. Since I can never experience things first hand for the next 2-3 years. What I need to do is to read and spend time creating new things instead. Thus my current lifestyle. I do not sleep late; as I tend to get worn out after class. Studying means nothing to me at that time, I rather spend time lying on my bed and read articles of the industry nowadays.

In campus, rather than wasting time chatting and walking around. I turn on my iPod and surf the net. Through social media such as Twitter, I'm linked with many articles and information that may help me in the future. Yes, I may have neglected my studies academically and also slack a lot more on my assignments. But to me, those are just grades. No doubt, it must be done in the best ways possible. But I believe that thing learnt from textbooks isn't what's important in the future. I believe in the knowledge of current trends and ways things ought to be done.

One thing I'm simply lacking of now is the chance to actually do things practically.
Doing things I've been doing when I was form 1 until form 5 which ceased since I've entered UTAR


I just hope things would go on smoothly--
Posted on 7:09 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

What I want to be

It's been a long time, I know. I went on hiatus not because I want to, but every time I wanted to write, I end up being stuck and not being able to write anything at all. Perhaps the expectation of the post is just too high and I can't simply write and post anything at all already. Everything needs to be properly revised and reviewed before being published. Now that it's early in the morning, and LoL server is down AGAIN! I guess I can write something.

Ever since I'm young, I've been wanting to be someone special to the people around me. I do not hope to be someone who stirs up the crowd with joy and laughter, nor someone who becomes the middle of attention in anything but to be someone who can inspire others. Yes, to be an inspiration to others. Thus, in every single thing I do, I try to do it in a way people never thought of doing. I try to be different, sometimes even philosophical.

Which comes to one big question.

How does other people view me at the end of the day?

Honestly, I do not know. Reality and dreams looks so alike yet they are different by miles. Even if you felt you are living in heaven now, does not mean that you really are. Also, sometimes when you think people are treating you badly, their motives may be as pure as you have never imagined. So how am I supposed to know? The heart is not something I can see and understand in definite terms.

I am someone who tries to treat everyone honestly. I say things according to what I think, and most of the time, I tend to neglect what others may feel about it but what I say is always what's inside my heart. The question is, how many people can actually accept what you say? How true is my view on life for them? How much does my words ever affect them?

Doing good is a good act, but sometimes, it may turn out into something other people despise. Something you would despise. I am trying to be someone honorable and respectable. But to fulfill so many different people's perception of life. How can I do so?

Just my 2 cents --
Posted on 6:27 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

Meaningful quotes

"Those who failed and continued trying, they'll get the experience of failure, thus getting stronger"
"Slow and steady beats the fast but not consistent"

Some quotes that kept me moving on after failing my Japanese exams and having to repeat it in the future. Honestly, the feeling is terrible. Added on with the risk of having my scholarship being cut of because of a LAN subject which have no CGPA value? It simply make things worse. However, if view at a different perspective, perhaps it's a good thing. At least now that it happened, I find things being too fragile in life. Perhaps I should start appreciating things more.

"Things that are seen are temporary, but things that are unseen are eternal - 2 Corinthians 4:18 "
Posted on 2:24 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 1 Comments »

Cowardly

It's not that I'm indecisive when I ask you out, and decided not to go at the end
It's just that, I'm afraid of the things that will happen when I go
I'm just scared of what I'll do when I go.
I'm just a coward

Posted on 3:24 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 1 Comments »

A dream I never wanted

Have you ever been in a dream where you actually want, but would prefer not to have it at times? I guess I just had it just now when I actually thought I can have a good rest just now. I actually went to bed at 10 and thought of waking up at 4.30AM to get my job done. Only to end up waking up at 1.30AM instead and had not slept since then. It was a dream that woke me up.

A dream of a promise I made to a person. A dream of promises and vows. There's so many things that I've promised this person, and it seems that time after time, I broke it with my own hands itself. only in the dream I see it realised. I felt so happy as I can actually do it, but to no avail, it's only in my dreams. It's no longer do-able anymore because I'm not at the right situation or position to do it anymore.

All I can do is to see from afar, hoping that you'll be alright. All I can do is just to think of ways, and that's the end of it. I can't do anything anymore. Worst of all, all I can do now is to make myself think and believe that it is the end. The end I do not want to have. Not the ending I want. Not the ending I hoped for.

Then again, what else can I do? Other than trying to be happy and contented with what I have? This week had been terrifying. I don't like a single part of it. Every single moment, you appear in my eyes and mind,

I'd thought to myself on what are you doing, yet I don't have the courage to ask you.
I found out that you are unwell, yet I have to show that I'm care for you as a friend.
I miss having meals together, yet I'm opposite your table, with my back facing you
I missed you. but what I can do is to show that I don't


However, if it makes you happy that way. If this is the significantly simple thing I can do for you that he did. I think that's the last of it that I may give. I just hope to be something to you. Something meaningful perhaps? I don't know. I don't know what I want anymore. I just hope I'm doing the right thing as of now. Not to regret it in the future.
Posted on 6:15 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

How heavy is it?

Things had been pretty pressurizing and burdening these days. High expectations, tight deadlines and extremely packed schedule of work is one of the main factors. Honestly, it's just getting tougher as the deadlines are fast approaching now. At times, the option of giving up and just getting over it would actually appear in me. However, deep down inside me I know that it isn't a way and it will not ever be a way to get things done.

Knowing that giving up isn't the way, at a point of trying so hard to pursue my goal, I'll start to wonder why am I even working so hard if there's so many easy way out? Well, perhaps it's because of who I am, someone who wants the best. This eventually gave me so much pressure and burden in everything I do because in whatever I do, I want to be better than others, be the best. Be the number 1 in everything. It was only until few months ago that I realized that it was plain mistake doing so. It happened when I felt so hopeless when I can't produce something I visualized in my mind, I can't bring out what I felt would be good and circumstances just don't allow me to do so.


It was very tiring being like that. In front of friends, family and the public, I have the need to be strong and act as if nothing is happening but deep inside me, everything was crumbling like how the "Angry Bird" crashes into those wooden blocks. Only then I realized something very important in life. Something that I should have got to know long ago so that I may actually prevent so much sorrow and pain from happening.

In everything I do, I should have just been myself. Doing the best I could is the only thing that is important. How would the outcome be, it's an extra. Competition should be with one's self and not other people and sometimes, learn to let go.

I remembered Mun Ming, my band instructor told me something very meaningful and true.

"Hold an exercise book for 1 minute, you won't feel anything at all as it is very light."
"Hold the same exercise book for 1 hour, you'll be feeling tired and feel like giving up"
"Continue holding it for 1 day, you'll be so tired that you would eventually fall"

My point is, when something is being held so tightly for such a long period of time, it actually kills a person slowly. Why not try to let go for a bit? Maybe after a good rest, things would work out better? One principles which had always followed me in my life when I'm having any trouble is 3 simple words. STOP, LOOK and GO. When you're just too tired, stop whatever you're doing. Have a rest, start looking for other ways or other approach, then go. It's just like how a traffic light functions, and it save lives from accidents. Perhaps it's a better way for you and for me.

Just some thoughts from within me.
I don't even know why am I writing this anyway
Posted on 10:01 PM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

Tiring days ahead

It's now Week 9 of my trimester guess what? It's once again the peak period for everyone in my course and I must say, it's really tough. So many other friends of mine who are taking other different subjects from any range of science to business to IT, everything will end by next week as a lot of the submission deadlines are on this week and next week together with their presentations. Mine? I believe mine is just the start of everything, although it started on week 1 itself. Everything seems neverending; which eventually made my 9 weeks here in Kampar so fast. Everything seemed to be moving at the speed of light and knowing myself, I can't live in it cause I don't rush things even if I have to - that's why I'm here blogging

Hopefully this doesn't happen after this Trimester :)

I'm not sure if this is a good thing for me or a bad thing. But up till now, I believe it's still a good thing. Almost every single coursemate of mine are already considered 'half-dead' especially my group of friends around. Everyone looks so dead that after one day of class, you can see the "I am dead" sign on the face, yet they need to pursue it even if they are tired. I on the other hand, slept at 9.30pm last night (I'm a lazy bum) But coming to realize that when a person is tired, it's impossible to get a job well done, even if it's done, the results won't be there.

Thus, I stand by my point to take things one at a step. Rest when it's really needed and push when my body can take it. If my body can't take it, at least have a short 1 hour or 2 hour rest in between. Perhaps that's what I can share, and what I hope would help. I remembered while I was talking to my lecturer 1 week back, she told me one thing when I told her that there's a lot of assignments up ahead and there's just so much pressure coming in. She told me this:-

"Forget about those assignments for the weekend. Go out and enjoy and play; do anything stupid and crazy which you can think of. Then come back on Monday and start working again. You'll feel less pressured when you do so"

I guess that helped me a lot. I made the decision to go back on that Sunday, although the 2 days became 1 day. Things are still smooth sailing now, and I'm clear of unwanted thoughts together with a good physical state of health. Things are right in front waiting for me right now. Well, I'm waiting for them too. Bring it on.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

To my friends, my coursemates who are now struggling. I just hope that I can do something to help, but this is something only you can help yourselves. The road is tough in front. Well, theorically it's never easy :) Hang on there, things will only get better!

Anyone who wants to sleep with me like this?? I'm a good hugger! =)
Posted on 7:24 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

Disaster in Japan

As you people would've known, the earthquake cum tsunami disaster is something almost everyone know now unless you don't even bother to get yourselves updated with the issues around you. I've just gone through some of the pictures and video recordings of this disaster and sometimes it just pains me to see life going away just like that. It's like "now you see it, now you don't" Everything seems to disappear in just a split of a second and there's no second chance for anyone to correct it anymore.
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The loss of loved ones, the loss of belongings and friends are what pains everyone even if they are not the victim. But honestly, what pains me the most is knowing that a lot of them whose life is lost, where would there end up?

As a Christian myself, I believe in the second life; the spiritual life. It is appointed for every man to die once, and somehow, death is something inevitable, but what about after that? Is the end there right after death? If it isn't, what it is after death? There are simply so many philosophies and theories that is made to cater to this question, that no one knows the exact truth of it anymore; which leads the what I'm about to tell you people below.

If you really want to know what the truth is, I believe this would be of your interest. The Church I'm currently attending would be organizing a gospel meeting and the topics would be about "The Truth" Questions in your mind such as WHY? HOW? and WHAT is the truth is all about would be discussed and I'm sure it'll benefit you

Certainly, I do not doubt your beliefs and what you value most, but I'd urge all of you to come join me in this occasion. Everything is FREE, but what we need is just a little bit of your time. Trust me, as a Christian myself, as a friend, and as someone who cares for your soul, this is the least of what you can do for yourselves, find out about it and act on it. Details of this gospel meeting is as below. I've tried my best to hand in the invites to you, do yourselves a favour and attend; it'll definitely be worth your time


Do yourselves a favour, spend this few hours with us
Posted on 4:34 PM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

TOP student? My ass

"Top student". I officially hate this word. I seriously hate this darned word. I am pissed with everything that is happening already. I'm having my exam tomorrow and I'm right here, sitting down doing nuts because of some stupid problem which have been haunting me for the past 1 year. I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate every single thing in this darned world. I hate the damn label "Top student" given to me for no freaking reason. I don't ask for it, I don't want it. I'm not born here to score exam. Everything is through effort and not because I'm borned with it. So stop calling me stupid labels for no reason at all.

There are so many people better than me in this world. Why don't you people call them? In my course alone, I'm not number 1. So don't call me the top, cause I ain't that special compared to you people. You people have problems, I have mine too. I've got mine for the past 1 year and nothing's getting better. If I'm this "TOP student" I would've been solving it and living happily. But I didn't, so STOP calling me that. I HATE it.

TOP student don't have problems? TOP students can't get low marks even if they don't study? TOP student is God? Go and dream, it's no fun being at the top. Because it's due to this stupid word, that made me lose things I treasure most. I hate it, but what can I do? Can I solve it because I'm the so-called "TOP"?

YES. I'm Naive. So be it
YES. I'm in a rage now. So don't talk to me
Posted on 1:57 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

I'd wish I have amnesia

Sometimes I'd wish that I have the capability to forget things just as how I wish to do so. When I hate something, I can simply forget it with a simple snap of my fingers. There's just too much things that I want to ignore and forget about it, but I'm not able to do so. People say that I'm very absent minded; I forget things too easily and I don't remember things when it matters most. YES, I'm absent minded, but I have good memory and observation skill. When i see something, i see things as a whole and I remember that for a long period of time, it may reach up to 1 to 2 years and I can still remember the exact event that happened.

My point is, how can I reverse this? Honestly, there are just too many unwanted things in my life that I want to forget it from this instant, but can I do so? I just can't do so because I'm not a person to forget things so easily. When I dislike a particular person, it can last for a year or two, and when I love a particular person, it'll last for a very long period of time.

If bad things and bad experience that I've faced in my form 5 life in band is still clearly in my mind, and I've yet to have forgiven anyone in that case, how can I forget how much I love you and hate you at the same time? I just hope I have amnesia at this moment of time. I can forget everything and life live anew everyday

That being said, I wouldn't want that to happen
Cus it'll affect the people around me with my own issues
I hate to affect people around me with my issues
Posted on 8:23 PM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

I'm not a happy kid

In case you don't know, I'm a very emotional person. Someone who is very relationship based and not goal based. In any choices is needed to be made between relationship and job, relationship; be it family, friends or couple will be chosen most of the time. This is not because I'm weak, that I dont have a good EQ, or emotional intellingence. But it's just me. Honestly, if you ask me what I want in the future. Earning tons of money compared to having a happy family, being a dictator that suceeds compared to being simple and have friends around you. I'd choose the choices which are more relationship based. I believe that a good relationship is the basis of a happy life.

Thus, in everything I do. I try to be simple and not dictative. Most of the time, final decisions would NEVER be made by me. I try to be diplomatic and I try to satisfy everyone's needs and wants to the point where sometimes, I don't even know who am I anymore. Everything was alright, because I believe that it is what I want to be remembered for in the future. All I hope to get back in return, is just gratitude; for someone to show love to me, or at least not to break the inner part of me into pieces. I've never asked you to be reconciled with me, I just hpoe that I can stay nearby when I'm feeling sad and down. All I want is a little care from you, what I get is you thinking that I have other motives in doing so.

YES, I do hope that our relationship can be saved and continued, or to start from a new beginning. Knowing that the possibility is just too small, I just hope that I can be nearby you when I'm sad, cus it really helped. I just want to be nearby. I just want to be in your presence.

Why can't I have this small request from you?
I'm crushed, I'm really crushed; The pain is excruciating.
You once told me how pain it was to get hurt by the one u loved most
You don't have to tell me how is it anymore
I'm facing it right now.

It's been 11 months. People move on in less than 3 months
Mine has been 11, nothing has changed my love to you
But you treat it like it is my mistake all along
The mistake of loving you so much


Posted on 3:27 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

Who I am

A very simple question, sometimes I just doubt whether a person actually know who he or she is as a matter of fact. We've been living in a world where almost all the time, a person is actually acting on who he or she wants to portray himself or herself to the world. Even if a person is very sad, acting cheerful is the only thing they can do so that people wouldn't feel awkward when they are around him. But honestly, how long can this acting go on?

Everything has its limit and capability. Sometimes no matter how strong a person is, there is always a limit to how much a person can endure. Everything may seem normal to a person when he's able to contain whats inside but when the "Jar-within-that-person" is filled, it's either that the jar would get overflowed or it'll break at an extreme extent. Somehow, when a person is able to hang onto this situation for a longer period of time, he or she is considered a "strong" person; in which his or her EQ is so good that any emotions and troubles wouldn't affect the person.

When they are being called a "hero" in today's term, sometimes I wonder, why do we have to act so much every day and night? If lying is a sin to God, isn't acting somehow related to lying as well? Why can't everyone just be truthful towards everything they see and do? Everything seemed to need a filter before it goes out from the heart; which actually leads me to stop blogging for this brief period of time; I don't see a reason to express in my blog anymore because I simply can't express anything at all.

To be honest, I'm tired. Why should I act as if I'm so happy around everyone, when deep inside me, cries of blood comes from my heart. The pain is so pain that I don't know how long can I endure it anymore. Can't I just leave everything behind? Leave the past and move on to the future? I really want it to be like that, but sometimes the past just can't be left "just like that" for no apparent reason.

I want to be myself, but can I?
Everything I do, is just behind a mask


I'm tired of it, seriously
Posted on 9:01 PM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

Do or do not?

After being absent for such long period of time, I'm having this feeling of re-blogging again. I'm not sure how long am I going to be able to be consistent but I guess it's a good thing; at least I wont have to stare into space when I have nothing to do anymore. Lets just see how long I can last.
Posted on 6:29 PM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »