The road less travelled by

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference"

If the 3 sentence about seemed familiar, it is already an excerpt from the poem "The Road Not Taken". Very simple and meaningful poem which can actually explain my life ever since a long long time ago. I do not know why, but this poem came into my mind when I wanted to get to bed to rest up a little for tomorrow. 

I am 22 this year, and to be honest, when I look into myself to do self reflection, I found out that I have never actually "succeeded" in anything big or proud. Perhaps the only time I felt proud of myself is when  I got straight A's for my UPSR exam when I was 12 years old? Simply because it is only through these "mainstream" things that I can actually get noticed. Sometimes I ask myself, why do I not get good reputation or perhaps a chance where people can look up onto  me and thus allowing me to look up upon myself? Well, just now I found some hints that it is because I have always taken the different road; "the one less travelled by".

All my life, I strived to be different; to be unorthodox. I refuse to follow the norms of what a proper student should do - study hard and score well in exam, get into a good University and get a professional career. A doctor, lawyer perhaps? But I always decide to do the exact opposite. I took the road where I believe that studies don't bring me anywhere far. I went for extra-curricular activities, and had a good balance of both (I guess?). When people studied hard to get into good Universities and work in the science stream to be professionals and engineers, I chose to get into the arts stream; not because I suck at Science, but simply because I avoided the norm.

To bring matters even further, I put music as my passion in life. When everyone was trying hard to score in the University exams, I made trips back through and fro from Kampar to Ipoh for practices due to performances in my band. When people are in a rush for assignments, I put my time and effort in practising for performances in events, on ships or a simple ball night. Sports? When people are focusing on popular sports such as football, badminton and basketball, I put my effort on E-Sports, where people thinks that I am a joke, and take what I do as simply "playing computer games" and "computer addicts" or perhaps "da gei zai". While things are being looked in such negative ways, sometimes, it just takes a wee bit of understanding to look things in my perspective. 

To be honest, I am very confident that if I had chosen to go to what ordinary people would do, study hard, work hard and get a good degree in professional courses. Go for good jobs and take up sports like badminton and basketball. Socialise through societies and clubs like Leo and Lions Club. I believe that I can and I am definitely able to be as successful as what a lot of people around me are. Unfortunately, never had I did such thing. Am I simply talking big, full of trash and bullshit? Nah, I believe I am not. So do I ever regretted such decisions and choice that I made? No, not a single bit. It is simply because I believe that life is too short and there's too many things that I have yet to experience.

I am an unorthodox person,I walk the road of the lesser and as what you would've guessed, I suffered the negativity immensely. To me, though, it does not matter, because it is from all these things; I learnt a lot of things the hard way. I may not seem successful at this moment, average results in exams, not having a lot of achievements, may not have a bright future in my career, etc; but I believe things will change in the future, and I will work towards it.

To have a breakthrough in life is tough, but still possible
To have a breakthrough in a clutter is tougher, but not impossible
But to have a breakthrough in something that is not in existence
That's what I'm aiming for, looking towards. 
Posted on 6:21 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 1 Comments »

New Year

Yesterday was 1/1/13; which marks a new year after a really long and interesting year 2012. It's been a very tiring year but at the same time rewarding because if I were to pen down my thoughts of year 2012, it would take a very long time as there are just too much things to express. Then again, things just don't end the way I thought it would be this year, as although I thought things would be smooth sailing, it didn't happened. There were already so much of challenges and hardship waiting to be handled, and also to give me a hard slap on my face, twice.

Giving is something people always claim to be good for a person. Well, the more you give, the more you receive, right? Then again, sometimes it's really hard to continue giving when the more you give, the more you receive; but not good things in return; instead bad and painful returns.That is why, I am actually never fond of giving unless I really care and want to do so. Everything I do, I do it without expecting anything in return. At least by doing so, I can tell myself that I wouldn't be disappointed when things do not turn out as it is because I do it, simply because I want to do it and I have no one to blame for that. Then again, sometimes it just hurts too badly.

I understand though, that it's never a reason to stop giving. 

I'll continue giving and contributing until the end of it. 

Sometimes, I really do hope that there would be times where I can receive encouragement or affirmation, perhaps even an acknowledgement for the things that I've been trying so hard to do. Guess what? Sometimes a simple sentence of "You're getting better" makes my day, and it is proven today. I felt great, when someone acknowledge me for what I've been trying to do so hard for such long period of time. Of course, I wouldn't ask for it because its not valuable any longer if it needs to be asked.

There isn't much I'm hoping for in the Year 2013, because I think I already have an abundance of what I need. Maybe its now the time for me to actually give, rather than to receive. To give, more of love, more of care, and more of what I have. If I were to have a new year resolution, it would be to give more. 

Posted on 5:10 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »