Drop Dead

It's been quite some time since I've last blogged. I hoped that I can actually blog something I'm happy about but it seems that, this blog would only be updated when shit happens in my life. I'm just someone who would only have the feeling to post and entry when I'm having problems in my life. But, on and on the same problem exist. Seems that it'll never be solved. It's been on for almost 2 months. 2 long, tiring and depressed month. And, it's not the end yet. I don't know when it will.

It seems that at the end of the day, I'm still the one being left out of the picture.
I am still the one who face failure yet, still trying to save the ego I have inside.

I feel like an idiot
Presenting my most important thing to someone else
Yet, still hoping that it'll eventually come back, where it won't
Yet, I'm blinded by this so-called "hope"
I want you to have the best

Yet I know by doing so,
I'll definitely destroy myself and everything I once had
And when I do so, you came asking me not to be so stupid

I really do not know what am I to do anymore at this point of time. Exams are practically coming next week with assignments to hand in. Yet, I'm still in this dillemma, even on thinking what to do, how to do, and can I even do it. I can't concentrate in anything I'm doing already. Yet, I need to maintain my results for my studies. I'm really tired of everything. I want it to end, yet everytime when I decide to end it, the next moment, regrets come in and I try to move back to the original point. Sometimes, I really wanted you to give response on matters, yet when the response come, it isn't what I want. What do I actually want now??

That moment when I saw 'that' particular thing
My heart broke into pieces, I don't even know how to get it back together
Yet, the next thing I do is to encourage you to go ahead
What am I even doing now?
I'm sick, really sick

-Signing off-
Posted on 12:45 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

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