The clock is ticking at 3.32am right now. In front of my computer and TV, with the match between Cameroon and Denmark. It kinda late, considering that I would need to wake up at 8 tomorrow for church worship service. Yet, things are puzzling in my mind and I can find no answer at all. I've never actually faced this kinda situation for a lot of time, or perhaps this had never happened to me before since year 2008, where shit happens all the time of the year.

I used to be an extremely care-free person, who takes things very easily. Or what we Malaysians call "chin chai". I remember very clearly, what my instructor told me last time, not to take things so lightly, and when a problem arises, solve it immedeately and don't delay. Being me at that time, I didn't changed much and thus, causing a lot of problem to the people around me, or perhaps the whole band started crumbling, because of me. Yes, because of me.

2 years later, at year 2010. I am proud to tell the world that I've changed. I'm no longer the care-free Jeffery Chan. Whenever problem arises, I put my heart and my mind to look for solutions. I try my utmost best to solve a problem as soon as possible so that it would not get ugly in the future. I know my role when problem arises, I simply know that when things happen, I should do something to prevent it from getting worse. Yet, I wonder did I ever changed for the betterment or for the worst now. Whenever I try to solve anything, it gets worse.

Where do I stand? At this point of time, I do not know what am I supposed to do anymore. Even a simple chat, can evolve into a war. Do I actually look too high up to myself? I do not know who am I anymore. Every word I say is actually offensive. I've tried to put my ego off, but what am I actually doing right now? Why am I even writing this post? Am I even trying to mend off situation now? why..

Who Am I?