Exam starts tomorrow. Well, enough said. I think I've did enough.

Lets just see if it can allow me to achieve my goal this time

Pray for me
Hope for the best!

-Signing off-

Hello fellow readers.

Just a simple post from an email from my dad. It's really meaningful and I want to share this with my readers. Specifically to those who needs this encouragement.

Sometimes we ask ourselves

A daughter tells her mother how everything is going wrong for her;

She probably failed her Math exam

Her boyfriend just dumped her for her best friend.

In times so sad, a good mother knows just the thing to cheer up her daughter

“I make a delicious cake.” In that moment the mother hugged her daughter and walked her to the kitchen, while her daughter attempted to smile and while the mothe

r prepared the utencils and ingredients, her daughter sat across from her at the counter.

Her mother asks, “Sweetheart, would you like a piece of cake?”

Her daughter replies, “Sure,mom, you know how I love cake.”

“Alright...” the mother said, “Drink some of this cooking oil.”

Shocked, the daughter responded, “What?!? No way!!!

“How about a couple of raw eggs?”

To this the daughter responded, “Are you kidding?”

“How about a little flour?”

“No, mom, I’ll be sick!”

The mother responded,

“All of these things are uncooked and taste bad, but if you put them together,

they make a delicious cake!”

God loves us so much

He send us flowers every spring

He makes the sun rise every morning

And anytime you need to talk, he is there to listen

He can live anywhere in the universe

But

-Signing off-

Exams are coming in like, 4 days?! Yet I'm still not prepared to face the examination this time. Sighs, comparing with the last trimester, this trimester is proven to be much tougher (Perhaps it's me getting lazier). I guess I really need to rush things up else I won't be able to maintain a 3.9 CGPA this trimester anymore, or perhaps, to make it constant at a 4.0? Hahaha, to be frank, it's been a long time since I nerd so much already but the satisfaction counts at the end. I really don't know what would be happening in 4 days. We shall see how it goes. Hmmm, interesting.

Unfortunately, my coursework marks ain't gonna be good this time. Screwed up my webpage design mid term test, screwed up press conference and screwed up business report. Darned.

Just a short post to remind myself that exam is coming soon again and also to prevent myself from sleeping. You know, I'm a retarded sleeper. Perhaps better than the sleeperlogist in my class last time. And also in UTAR =)

-Signing off-

It's now 2.37a.m. and it just rained just now. Situation in my room is dark and gloomy and with the addition of the rain just now, it's rather quiet and peaceful. Perhaps thats why, I started thinking a lot again. I read through a lot of blogs and also some post of my friends in facebook of things especially on their "First time clubbing" and stuffs like that. That makes me actually wonder a lot and sometimes, it's kinda weird how things are progressing these days.

Myself, being raised from my family and also religion, things are somehow different compared to the ones my friends are having now. Well, for those who actually know me and deeply about my religion, I believe you people would understand what I mean. What the world are doing now, I do it not and for that, a lot of people would consider me a "coward" or something like that because I don't go for activities like that all the time and I would be sticking onto other "boring" activities. Tonight, I'm actually wondering how long can I hold onto this principles of mine.

As you would know, I'm now studying in Foundation that would lead me to the Mass Communication field, or perhaps the media field which would be more or less related to the business field. To be frank, I'm worried of the future especially on my future lifestyle. Everyone can see, the culture of the society and what they see in their eyes. Can I actually "be myself" despite these differences? Or perhaps, would I end up to be some kinda "outcast" as compared to the ones out there now?

How far would I go if I continue on to be like this? Closing myself to all these so-called "negative-factors" whereby sometimes we don't even know whether it's really negative. To be frank, I do not know. Perhaps I should really reconsider where am I actually heading now.

Alcoholic? Clubs? Smoking?

Of course, everyone is curious of it the first time
And curiousity kills

I'd rather not try

-Signing off-

Walla!~~

I've once again finished another semester of my life in Foundation and I would be having my study break (which is never a break) next week before the exams. Nothing much to be written here, just to briefly remind myself that exam is coming soon and therefore to

Independence. Does it brings the meaning of the so-called 'Merdeka' in Malaysia. In some context, yes but what I'm focusing on is the capability to take care of ones own self. Frankly, I'm getting pissed off with one single thing that keeps happening these days. The world nowadays are cruel, and definitely, none can live without being independent and self-relying but definitely, sometimes help and empowerment from other people are needed. This is 100% true. No one can live alone.

Just a short post to express how irritated am I to you. If you know who you are. And stop going around sulking for the things which you decide and not others. You choose your path, you deal with it. Stop messing up people's life because of your problems, or perhaps. Motives.

-Signing off-

Webpage design: 38/50

Marketing: 27/30

Management: 39/40

Sociology: ??/50

Business: ??/40

Mass Comm: 42/50

I think I had a slight decrease especially in my webpage and mass comm. Urrgh. Well, pray hard for the assignments and reports marks, releasing next week.

Things that happened these days? Well, birthday celebrations I supposed.

Zhi Yong's aka Monkey's bird day

-PICTURE-

Yi Xiang's bird day and Suzanne's uh, birthday (can't use bird day)

-PICTURE-

Can't see picture?
Well, don't blame me, blame my housemates
Stealing all my line until I can't upload a simple 68kb photo.

-Signing off-

As for me, New Year wasn't happy but instead sorrowful. Should I call it Sorrowful New Year instead? I still remember, 31st December 2009 was a rather happy day initially and that was the day I came back to Ipoh too. Everything was going on smoothly and everyone was happy. I was happy, my family was happy. You were happy too until the phone call came. The moment you told me about that, I'd know that this would be a very terrible new year.

Well, it turned out as expected. Since that message is being sent to me, you don't reply my messages no more up till 010110 came by. But still, it was a message filled with sadness, sorrow and pain. Knowing the source of the problem, I decided to take a move to solve the problem. Instead, I got blamed for causing the problem to worsen. Sometimes I do not understand the logic of it anymore. I really do not know the logic behind your actions. Everything happens because of a "he" and because of the "he", we've been having so much problems lately. I really do not know where do you belong anymore. Are u owing him so much that you have to submit your happiness to him? And yeah, you're gonna be like going after me after u read this message again.

I am tired, I want to end everything right on this particular New Year. To be frank, I've thought of it for a lot of time and a very long time each time. I tried to resist, knowing that it's hard for you too. But how am I to resist if the same incident happens everyday? Alright, I think I've ranted enough. Back to the story.

Today, I practically gave up on everything. Despite everything, I still think that I am the one sticking out of nowhere and forcefully push myself into this particular picture. If I was not in the picture, the pain wouldn't be inflicted on you. You would be having a significantly happy life. Not the life in which you've faced for Christmas, and now the New Year. I definitely don't want you to face it again during Chinese New Year. No, not anymore. If there's anyone who should be facing this, it would be me.

I know, this actually happened a lot of time and it seems that it's so repetitive that no one even bothers to care about it anymore. But then, I blame myself for being not persistent enough and return back to square one at the end of the day. Sincerely speaking, I really hope'd that I can actually be with you. That is my sincere wish and want. But I think that it's his need. With that, I guess giving up would be a good decision. He would be happier, you wouldn't be pressurized by him and end up feeling bad the whole day anymore. As for myself, well. Perhaps I should be facing this since I'm the one sticking out of nowhere at the first place.

Sometimes I do wonder, if he didn't exist. Things would be much easier and problems wouldn't be happening so much these days. Sighs, if there are so many "if" in the world, I wouldn't have to be facing so much now. Starting this relationship "game" is a mistake. Everything since semester 1 was a big mistake. I'm sorry. I've never been this daring to do this especially in this blog before but I think I would be doing it now. Wouldn't have the chance to do it anymore I guess. I love you, Low Kar Kheng. I know that things are impossible at this stage anymore but everything I said to you, did for you are from the deepest ocean inside my heart. I can't bear to see you being hurt again. I'm sorry