The thing is, sometimes when I felt as if I'm trying so hard to help someone, nothing is actually coming back from it. When I give advices and thoughts, everything seems so childish and non-existence because what I always feel is just too childish for them. Sometimes, things just became so tough that I had to use all the strength I have to control myself so that I just wouldn't start destroying everything around me.

You know what? At this point of time, I really do not know why am I still trying so hard to help; spending so much time trying to put you into my shoes, because I just found out that whatever I'm trying to tell you is just something that passes by your ears, never kept, never cherished. If things are just like that, why do I even bother trying to do something at all?

I could've used all the time spent doing these meaningless stuffs to work on my news portal project, work and so many other stuffs. Heck, I could even use it to just rest up and sleep so that I can have enough energy the next day. I broke my sleeping habit for no reason, spend so much time out when I could've just rested at home. There's so many things that I can do other than what I am doing now.

Honestly? I do not even know why am I trying to do anything any longer. Everything seems so useless. Perhaps I'm really born at the wrong place, placed at the wrong side of the world. Maybe I just shouldn't care because everything that seemed to be bad to me, is good to you.

I just do not want to care any more. But the question comes back to me.

Can I? Do I want to? Should I? What will happen if I choose to ignore?

This sucks.