The word above is what I've been pondering when i was trying to sleep just now. Sad to say, the question couldn't be answered at the moment. Sometimes, when i reflect back to the past where I listen and I follow to things that are being told by people. I realised that I could easily trust the people around me and I just do whatever they want me to. Ironically now, I did the opposite. Most people said that I've changed so much compared to the old me ( who was obviously very obedient,quiet and do not hav my own stance ) to the current me ( who have my own personal stance of opinion and does things according to what he feels that it is right ). Frankly, up till now, I dont see which is the better one. Many people say human change for the betterment but it seems that no matter how you change, there'll be people who dislikes it and tend to challenge it. I'm definitely trying my best now to be a better person and I believe through all these, I'll be facing so much more problems as problem do not stop occuring.


I often tell my friends to look at different perspective as things can be seen in a better way and life would seem more meaningful and of course, happier. I do wonder, can I do it now when I'm facing the same thing. Phrases like "walk the talk" is something which really needs to be done now. I can't afford to waste any more time. I must find my own stance and my own self. I can't keep on depend on others opinion and style of doing anything anymore. I'm awaiting the moment when I can stand up to people and say " I'm myself " proudly. I wonder when would it happen ??


The word trust have been keeping me busy nowadays as I realised there aren't much people I can actually trust currently. Am I being too conservative where I can't even trust anyone anymore ?? Or perhaps working alone is what I am ?? It gets frustrating when I hear news that there are so many 'behind the scene' which took place without anyone knowing till it was exposed by others. Is this the world now or it's just plain human attitude towards life. Words which they always say such as friends , besties and stuffz like that seems that it's just the cover and behind, words of cursing and judging comes in non-stop. It's just so unbelievable that out of 100 person whom i know, only 10 person would be the one whom I can trust and others are merely mask wearers.


However, it's understood that life must go on. Problems must be solved and things must keep on moving. I'll definitely need your prayers and motivations to keep on moving. I believe things would be solved. Sooner or later. Hopefully ...

p/s : Do people only look at the benefits of themself to act ?? I'm definitely confused with it.