Friends ...

Indeed a very simple word but hardly no one could actually explain this word in a manner which would satisfy everyone. Sometimes I do wonder are friends that important or are they not important at all. I used to be someone who doesn't mix around much and would prefer to sit at home and just pass my time alone. I'd always felt that it was the way to be in life. Things that were in my mind was just to study and live life as it is. It was when I actually start to notice the people around me that I started changing. Perhaps to someone better or maybe worse for the others but the sure thing is, I've changed through time because of the people who are with me all along.

Things were alright all along and frankly, the times which I had in my life was nice and happening because of one simple word. Friendship . It's through this simple word that I actually gained happiness and meaning in my school life. True enough, I'd gone through this happy moments and I'm very glad for that to actually take place in my life. Those memories are simply priceless and nothing can ever replace that. I still remember the old me, who is very ego-istic, someone who always throw tantarums when things doesn't go by my way, so on and so forth. Still, there are people who actually approached me and talk to me, hoping that I would change. True enough, as myself, I actually put them down a lot of time. For that, I would sincerely say sorry to whom it may concern. Perhaps now, I dont even talk with them much already due to the gap in between.

This word seriously brought me very far. But, this word can actually bring me down anytime. As written above, I used to be someone who does things alone and do not care about what others thinks of me. Thoughts are flashing through my mind saying " I used to be like this, why can't I be like this now?". Indeed for those who see me in school these days, I tried to actually sit down and not moving around and mix with friends anymore because I know, things aren't right now. It's really saddenning when I can't even chat with them longer than 5 seconds. There aren't anything that can be talked about anymore. In fact, in order to fill this 'emptyness' in my life, I went mixing with my other classmates whom I wasn't very close with in the past. But true enough, I'm starting to fit in. Through that, I tot my problem was actually solved and I manage to cope up with the changes.

Unfortunately, this doesn't change one bit. The emptyness in my heart was never filled up. The bonds which keeps friends united and together for such a long period of time seemed to be tarnished bit by bit, day by day, without anyone even knowing it. I really do not know what is happening and whether it would get better or not. I often see in many webpages such as frienster, facebook , etc where words such as "Friends Forever"exist. There are even handphone Short messages where people uses vulgarities to define friendship ( remember "friendship you can keep" ?? ) Are these things even true to even take place in our life ? Sincerely, I'm starting to doubt this. There are too many actors around me where I dont even know who to trust.

" Friends are hard to find, not easy to keep but even harder to forget "

" Friends come and go , but true friends appear once in a lifetime "

I wonder, what does all these actually represents ??
I'm not writing this to complain, nor do it expect any changes because I know nothing will change lest something is done. But you peeps see me here writing this is just because I just don't wanna keep this anymore. I don't think anyone would like to face this, and i hope none of you would be facing this. It isn't nice at all.