I am a rebel

We live in a world of expectations; where every single thing you do and take into your life, expectations follow. It's not like I'm saying it's wrong to have expectations but I never like such issue in my life. People tend to say, only with high expectations, achievements and success can actually take place. Such is the truth as only if you expect to succeed in life, you would eventually put in the effort to do something and take the responsibility to work towards it. Honestly, it is true, because only when goals are put in front of you; things can be done and achieved, but my question is; when we're trying to hard to achieve goals and goals alone, where does the heart lies?

I have friends who work hard every single day to achieve good results. So much to the point that rest were never in his/her eyes and what's being seen is only the end goal; of having fantastic result. When being asked of what he'd been through all the way throughout the process, there weren't anything worth mentioning at all.

The question on whether or not I should follow what the masses want to see had been hitting hard on my face. Ever since the incident happened, I've been thrown with words like "you must", "you have to", or "do it.. or else" which eventually put me into deep thought again tonight. What I felt is as if all of a sudden, I'm being thrown into a pit with so many rules and regulations that I have to agree and do in order for me to get out of it. It is, of course what I want; but definitely not the road that I want to take.

I wanted a road of understanding, tolerance and trust.
Not agreements, expectations and contracts. 

I may not be good, but I am sure that I'm serious and sincere. But with so many must and expectations coming in, what I felt is as if I'm becoming a machine or computer that follows the order of what the programmer wants from me. Nothing that I am going to do is directly from my heart if I am to continue moving forward this way. I will end up doing everything, because I am told to do so.

I am not writing this to tell everyone that I am right and others are all wrong. But I want to get my thoughts through; because what I value is not being 'perfect', but being 'sincere'. I used to tell my friend that whenever my parents start to demand me to do something (practising my piano, for example - Now you know why I never practised last time) , I will end up doing the exact opposite. It's simply because I am a rebel. The more people try to exert control onto me, the more I try to repel them off. 

But this time, 
I just couldn't put this issue off because I value too much.
I don't usually ask for things because I never liked to do so
But I ask of time and understanding at this point of time
I don't want to be a machine, I want to be a human with a heart
To do things that I want to do deep inside me
Not to do things I am being asked to do 





Posted on 3:30 AM by Jeffery Chan and filed under | 0 Comments »

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