Today is the 21st October 2012, which simply means I'm a year older already.

Many may ask how did I actually celebrate or went through this day.

Many may feel that I have something big planned or so on but it is of the exact opposite

 People may feel that it is supposed to be a joyous and happy occasion 

Where everything needs to be merry and flooded with happiness

To me? Unfortunately it isn't the case

I just wanted to spend my day quietly, to clear off my mind and to think of moving on.

I'm not the type of person that finds happiness in being around many people, having fun

But most of the time being with the ones I want to be with; or myself, having time

Quiet, peaceful and quality time.

Guess what?


I don't think I got what I want

My whole day was spent performing tasks and work

I'd say that by the end of the day, I was actually 'broke'

To the extent that I don't feel like doing anything at all

And so causing me to avoid every single 'meeting up with friends session'

Perhaps because of that I disappoint a lot of people too for being unappreciative

But well, sometimes I just feel that I'm not worth the time and trouble

Not worthy of anything, because I ain't a good friend!

Life is tough these days because I do not know where I am any longer

Then again, I know and I understand

Life goes on

P/s:- Things weren't as bad as perhaps. I did had my happy moments and events that happened. And I really want to thank everyone that appeared today. Some of you simply carved a smile on my face when I am really down. It is amazing how things that seemed so simple, actually gave such large impact. Thank you

Everyone have a purpose

Everyone needs a purpose

A purpose to carry out task, to get things done

A purpose serves as a way to drive people onwards

Or sometimes even the opposite, to pull people back off

But it's not important at all 

because

the most important thing is that this "purpose" is there, it's present

Me? I do not have any; or perhaps, I've lost my purpose in everything I do these days. Every single day, hour, minute and seconds of my life is spent on things that I don't even know its usage. I'd wished I had some time to think things out, but the unfortunate fact is that I have none. 

I wanna get into my 'cave' and leave everything behind to start anew. But it seemed so hard because the work and commitments comes never-endingly. Run as I may, but I can't just escape myself from it. I don't need a break, but I want to see the light.

I want to know what am I to do at this situation.

Sometimes I wished I have someone to talk to

But I know, I'll never get things to be 'said'

I'm just not someone who blurt things out

Everything's in a mess, every single thing

But life goes on